In a desperate attempt to find work, I’ve been sending my resume out like a mad man. Mostly because if I have to sit through one more Paula Dean marathon I think I will die. Like, the next time I hear her say “From my kitchen to Your’ns,” my head will literally explode.
This is how I’ve been going about it; Craiglist now has job listings on there. Have they always had job listings? Who knows, but the point is they have them now, and I’ve been whoring myself out on them like it ain’t not thang. So, every night I search through these job listings in the field of my choice, and respond to about 10 or 15 of them. I send along my little resume along with a link to my online portfolio, and hope for the best.
Well, as of last Friday I was all ready to give this method a rest. I had sent my resume out to countless postings and heard nothing. Not a damn word. I put a tracker on my online portfolio, and the only person to have visited it was in Duluth. I don’t even know where Duluth is.
So I’m already to give up, but then I found this listing on there. It was beautiful. It was perfect. It was like someone knew I was looking for work and they tailored it just for me. The listing described a small Northern Virginia advertising agency in need of a jr. graphic designer. “Our clients include fortune 500, and other big names. We’re a small office that has a lot of fun, and we’re looking for someone to join the team.”
“We’re looking for a Jr. Graphic Designer for our In-House design” – check (especially in the Junior Department)
"Who has experience in advertising” – check.
“Must have a portfolio!” – check.
“and who is FUN!!!” – Fun? I'm a fucking blast.
My faith in craigslist restored, I slaved over the ideal cover letter. I needed something that said “FUN!!!” without being too “FUN!!!” My first draft had jokes such as “I have a PhD in PHUN!” and “I have my own transportation – a ’93 Buick Station Wagon known to me as DJ Jazzy Jeff.” I showed a friend to see if I had reached the desired level of “FUN!!!” His response…”This will be our little secret.”
Back to square one, I trashed my previous draft and decided to never try to be funny again. I typed up some no thrills letter, attached my resume, and hurried to send it in. When I went to pull up the email address off of the posting, I noticed something about this perfect job listing…something I hadn’t noticed before. The email was to soinso@SUPERCOUPS.BIZ. So I googled “supercoups," and what came up?
This is how I’ve been going about it; Craiglist now has job listings on there. Have they always had job listings? Who knows, but the point is they have them now, and I’ve been whoring myself out on them like it ain’t not thang. So, every night I search through these job listings in the field of my choice, and respond to about 10 or 15 of them. I send along my little resume along with a link to my online portfolio, and hope for the best.
Well, as of last Friday I was all ready to give this method a rest. I had sent my resume out to countless postings and heard nothing. Not a damn word. I put a tracker on my online portfolio, and the only person to have visited it was in Duluth. I don’t even know where Duluth is.
So I’m already to give up, but then I found this listing on there. It was beautiful. It was perfect. It was like someone knew I was looking for work and they tailored it just for me. The listing described a small Northern Virginia advertising agency in need of a jr. graphic designer. “Our clients include fortune 500, and other big names. We’re a small office that has a lot of fun, and we’re looking for someone to join the team.”
“We’re looking for a Jr. Graphic Designer for our In-House design” – check (especially in the Junior Department)
"Who has experience in advertising” – check.
“Must have a portfolio!” – check.
“and who is FUN!!!” – Fun? I'm a fucking blast.
My faith in craigslist restored, I slaved over the ideal cover letter. I needed something that said “FUN!!!” without being too “FUN!!!” My first draft had jokes such as “I have a PhD in PHUN!” and “I have my own transportation – a ’93 Buick Station Wagon known to me as DJ Jazzy Jeff.” I showed a friend to see if I had reached the desired level of “FUN!!!” His response…”This will be our little secret.”
Back to square one, I trashed my previous draft and decided to never try to be funny again. I typed up some no thrills letter, attached my resume, and hurried to send it in. When I went to pull up the email address off of the posting, I noticed something about this perfect job listing…something I hadn’t noticed before. The email was to soinso@SUPERCOUPS.BIZ. So I googled “supercoups," and what came up?
Supercoups – “Are you intrigued by the idea of owning your own business? Does an opportunity that fully utilizes your sales expertise, can be run from your home, and has low start-up costs sound right for you? SuperCoups offers the flexibility, independence and income potential you seek combined with the strategies, support and tools you need.”
Yes, SuperCoups is a franchised coupon business. Which is to say; not an advertising agency. I looked back over the craiglist posting, and began to tear it apart. A portfolio? Does laying out a "Buy one - get one free" Calci-Chew coupon need a full on creative director? I understood now that when they wrote "In-house design," they literally meant IN THEIR HOUSE. I was pissed. I spent days on my cover letter. DAYS! And for what? So that I could get an interview at a coupon factory? A COUPON FACTORY?
And the WORST part is they never called me back.
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