I LOVE THE HOMELESS

I, like most New Yorkers, do my very best to avoid the homeless like the plague (that they must undoubtedly have).  So while walking down Greenpoint Avenue the other day, I saw a hobo walking towards me - much to my surprise. Anywhere else in New York and I wouldn’t have thought much of it, but this was Queens and we don’t see much of their kind in these parts. It’s simply not prime hobo real-estate – largely due to the fact that most of us are just one high electric bill away from living on the streets ourselves. 

We were only a matter of seconds away from crossing each other’s paths, and I knew that he was going to bother me. If I had a sixth sense, it would be sensing when hobos were about to annoy me. It’s almost as if I can smell it coming - which is to say; i can smell it coming.  I had just had a horrible day at work, and believe-you-me, I was in no mood. I started strategizing my escape route.  Putting my ipod on is my usual go-to, but much to my chagrin, I had left my iPod at work.

I thought about pulling out my cell phone and pretending like someone had just called me, but it was in my gym bag and I doubted I could fish it out in time. I contemplated crossing the street, but the hobo was rapidly approaching, and this would require me to dart into on coming traffics.  It was a toss up, but I reluctantly decided that my best approach would just be to ignore him.  I know it’s horrible to treat another human in need as if they were invisible, but I had really had the worst day. To start things off, I had spilled my vegetable shake on my new shirt, and as if that wasn’t enough, the flatbread piada I ordered for lunch had come without the extra Tuscan sauce I had requested.

As the homeless man approached, he (as I had predicted) approached me.

“Hey…” he said.

I kept my head down, avoiding making eye contact, and picked up my pace.

“Hey…” He said again, getting progressively louder.

“Hey!” He shouted. Now we were side by side. I walked faster, relieved that it would soon be over. I quickly passed him and was well on my way down the block. In the corner of my eye I could see that he had stopped and was looking back at me.

“Hey.” He said. “I like your haircut.”